Self Defeating Goals

It has been suggested to me, and I have read time and again on internet anxiety self help sights, that having self defeating goals can be counter productive. This is one of my main issues.

Thoughts:
"I've got to find a way to get rid of these feelings".

Feelings:
Anxiety about feeling anxious.

Actions:
Avoiding situations perceived as anxiety producers or staying in "safe" situations.

This is information I found on the internet that helped a little, though I am exhausted lately. I had a "honeymoon" of sorts getting into therapy finally.. and I wonder now if I'm in the post honeymoon state and feeling tired, defeated, hopeless, etc.

Anyways, I came across this list of self defeating goals and sadly I think I'm guilty of all in some way or another, some I'm WHOLLY guilty.

◦Trying to be perfect right now. Perfection is not possible during the few short years we live on this earth.
◦Trying to control anxiety. Anxiety is viewed as the enemy rather than as a healthy warning signal that something in your life can be improved.
◦Trying to avoid situations believed to be responsible for undesirable emotions such as shopping centers, freeways, bridges, or elevators. This shifts responsibility for solutions away from yourself to the environment, which cannot always be controlled.
◦Trying to control people or situations you cannot really control. By doing this you are mentally hitting your head against the wall.
◦Trying to find relief through another person's presence. This shifts responsibility for solutions away from yourself to others. Promotes unhealthy dependency.

It's overwhelming... when I started this I thought I needed a little help to get over a few things. It's eye-opening to realize how many wrong thought patterns I have and how shallow my actual life has become.

Anyways, had a shitty long weekend. Hoping for a NON shitty week. Started a good book yesterday. Check it out.



Salud