Thoughts on where I am... which isn't too bad by the way.. but its work.

So I'm a few months into meds, and therapy, for my anxiety and stuff.  (Ok, stuff is a bad search word, so I have Anxiety with Panic Disorder.. see that google!?)

I'm doing pretty good.  I had a counseling session where I reported 2 weeks worth of "work" and my counselor was impressed.  I had really stretched my boundaries for a change.  (And not without some sweat, anxiety, and stress)

A couple things.  First off MEDS..  (ok, another bad search word.  I take Lexapro, and Xanax, ie alprazolam)   One time I was on Zoloft.  Not for long, I didnt feel it doing anything so I stopped... not to mention I didn't have a prescription for it.  But some of my close friends and family thought that it in fact was changing my disposition.  So here on the Lexapro I feel the same way. I don't feel like its doing too much.. but because of the above mentioned experience with Zoloft, AND because I have a prescription this time, I shall continue down that path.   The Xanax I like for now.  I certainly don't want to get addicted but as my nurse said, that is the least of your problems considering your lack of a life due to obsessive anxiety. 
I also trust that I can handle the moment it is time to say goodbye to them.  See, I had a bad week or so, and I was so upset after a fine month that I kind of got weak and asked if I could take MORE Xanax as necessary.  Of course this was approved, but then I got ahold of myself and started having progress and I've actually taken less Xanax than Im already prescribed.   So I'll be good on the meds I think.



As for the cognitive therapy, its going well.  I like my therapist.  I don't know whats coming in the future but right now she just acts as my sounding board, and gives me little hints to help my struggles, and hints at where my exposure will be heading once I have a better grip on my fear and fear response. 
One strange thing, she gave me a book to read, if Amazon has it I will link it, but the anxiety part of it talks a lot about NON  medication assisted therapy, yet I'm on the medication.  Kind of confusing but very interesting none the less so I can see why she wanted me to have the information. 

Also a book I picked up by coincidence was a great help.  It is by Victor Frankl, I will link it, and I highly suggest it to anyone, anxiety or not. 

So, sorry for the mind-dump.  I've been really busy with some work, both for money, and on myself.  This is what occupies my mind at the moment.   Whats on your mind?